Added: Shiela Wasserman - Date: 27.07.2021 00:10 - Views: 28272 - Clicks: 2713
Basically, my husband of 6 years told me that he's really into crossdressing, and wants to do some kinkier stuff where I top him. I'm getting more okay with this; at the time he told me I was really upset because I felt like he was saying that the few years of our sex lives was inadequate. However, we talked about it, and he assured me that it was not, that he loved us, and that he loved having sex with me.
Besides this, we've actually had some fun exploring this new aspect of our relationship; we've also been checking in with one another pretty frequently, and have had a lot of really good, really deep conversations about this permutation in our evolving sex lives. It left me with a real bad taste in my mouth for kinkdom in general and BDSM in particular; I feel like he used his kink to be cruel and controlling, and that any scenes we did involving toys and props were really about him bolstering up his fragile ego using violence and verbal abuse. I have a real antipathy towards doing that with my husband, even though I can tell that this is really important to him.
This is probably one of the major reasons he waited so long to tell me. He is training for his job, and has a roommate. Sometimes the roommate goes out on the weekend, and then my husband has a little privacy. What are some activities I can crossdressing kink my husband to do long distance?
Crossdressing kink should I know about being married to a crossdresser? Top female with crossdressing partner here. Fetlife is a great resource and social space for all things kinky - and there's even a Metafilter group. Come and say hello! Feel free to mail me here if you have any specific questions, or come find me on Fetlife Teamouse. This seems like an awfully tough time to introduce several newer and potentially big things at once.
This is not to say "hold on there; nothing until later! Of course, by "slowly" you could also mean "I'm stretching out the delicious agony of anticipation. So there's that : posted by Madamina at AM on September 26, [ 1 favorite ]. It think it will be important to you to learn more about your partner's interest in cross-dressing. Is it because it makes him feel more submissive? Is there an exciting element of humiliation or display in it for him? Or does he just find female clothing more sensual than male dress? Try not to let too many rigid gender ideals distract you right now.
Just explore where this is coming from. It also sounds like you had some pretty bad experiences with BDSM before. It doesn't have to be verbal abuse and ego-crushing, unless that's what you both find mutually satisfying. Feel free to m me. I agree with the going slow in a good way crossdressing kink. And don't be shy about telling him both what you like eg the spanking and what isn't working for you eg the porn. I mean, if he wants you more in charge, a great beginning point is telling him to find you some hot by your standards porn or erotica.
Something I found helpful when first getting into less errr mainstream bedroom antics was to start out by simply laying together in bed and running ideas together in the form of almost stories together. This would work long distance on the phone really easily.
Sort of a way to mentally try on ideas first, a shared fantasy if you will. We'd describe scenes, clothing, who is doing what it was a good way to find out just what each of us wanted from a scene and what we didn't before we were in the actual situation. It was also pretty hot and fun when we found crossdressing kink that set us both off. Being separate for this part might actually work better, as you might feel less self conscious if he's not in the room. Dominance doesn't have to be all soul crushing, and I'm sorry that your first experiences where so bad.
You can think of it as I am going to take care of you in the extreme, say maybe like having a fun sex pet. You control it, discipline it when it's bad, reward it when it's good and still love it and dress it up in pretty things, or you know what ever floats both of your boats. Remember an important thing too, and I know this might sound weird, just because you are the one playing the Dominant role it doesn't mean you have to do stuff you don't enjoy. I would get so in the whole concentrating on making a scene work that I'd forget I was supposed to be having fun too and started to feel resentful.
Once I realized it had to be fun for both of us it made a huge difference. The books I was going to suggest have all been recommended already and are really worth reading. First off, I just want to crossdressing kink that you sound like a wonderfully open, thoughtful and giving partner.
Your husband is really lucky to have you. Second, it sounds like you're both doing everything right - talking openly both about your desires and your concerns. Definitely make sure you keep doing that no matter what. I'm female but have some similar kinks to your husband, so hopefully this will offer some helpful perspective. I feel like he used his kink to be cruel and controlling, and that any scenes we did involving toys and props were really about him bolstering up his fragile ego using violence and verbal abuse Ugh, I'm sorry you had such a shitty experience.
Unfortunately, this does happen in the BDSM world. BUT I think an important thing to remember is that what happened between you and your ex was wrong because of the way it made you feel and his intent, not because of the actions themselves. It's different with your husband, because he really wants this. You may get pleasure from it which is great - pleasure is good! That's a really crucial difference. That's not to say YOUR doubts and hesitations aren't important. Obviously you shouldn't have to feel like you need to do something you're not comfortable with. I think it's important to make sure that you guys keep talking and checking in to make sure you're both feeling OK and that you're both getting to talk about anything that's making you feel icky.
Also, are you familiar with the idea of aftercare in BDSM play? It's for the top as much as the bottom, so make sure you're getting aftercare that helps you and your partner connect after play. I agree with the above commenters that this time while you're apart is not the best time to push either of your boundaries, especially because crossdressing kink can't get that physical reconnection after play.
But it is a really great time for you guys to talk about this stuff - and that can be fun and sexy. For instance, you could have him describe some of his fantasies to you - in great detail - along with what exactly about those fantasies is so hot to him. Understanding just how hot he finds this stuff and why might help you feel more ok with it.
It left me with crossdressing kink real bad taste in my mouth for kinkdom in general and BDSM in particular; I feel like he used his kink to be cruel and controlling My Prime Directive of BDSM is that bullies should not be dom me s, and dom me s should not be bullies.
You soooo don't sound like a bully. You sound like the opposite of a bully.
Dommeing may or may not be for you, but I want to reassure you that it doesn't make people who aren't already bullies into bullies. Rachel Kramer Bussell has edited a couple of anthologies of femdom stories that might give you some food for thought as well.
And please, feel good about going at your own pace, even if it feels a little slower than what your sweetheart would like. Welcome to the dark side; the cookies are rather lovely on this side of things! I'd like to first address your ex boyfriend: your ex wasn't a Dominant, he was a jerk who masqueraded as such. You know that of course, but I just want to reiterate that submission is something given, not seized.
Your ex would've crossdressing kink been thrown out of places like the Crucible D. I'm so so sorry that happened to you. Aside from the fact that you sound absolutely thoughtful and open-minded, the key difference between your ex's behavior and your Dominance is that you are approaching this with consideration, acknowledgement of boundaries, and open communication with your husband.
Some people are into degradation and humiliation, sure; crossdressing kink those acts are conducted in-scene with mutual respect for both parties, and never out of malice. I am Domme, and can help a little with your second question. When I first realized my alignment, I was absolutely terrified about how to handle all of it at once.
I started with small things like "inspections. There are plenty of things you could then do, including orgasm denial and control. As you get more comfortable with it, perhaps you two can explore chastity belts. You can also add certain telephone protocols that reassert your dominance from afar, if you'd like. Continue to keep your eyes and mind open; others have made great suggestions so far.
You'll be a great Domina, anonymous! Feel free to M me. If you decide to up, feel free to find me there as well! Agreeing with everything Ashen wrote. I do not agree that your husband's expressed interests are indicative of cryptohomosexuality.Crossdressing kink
email: [email protected] - phone:(498) 710-9383 x 7799
Crossdressing, and why I feel uncomfortable in kink spaces